I've read quite a few postings on what people are most afraid of in this surgery. Some are afraid of general anesthesia, some are afraid of not being able to breathe properly right after, others numbness or pain, or the diet, the nose changing, etc.
I think my biggest fear are the changes to my face. The other things, while I do worry about them, are not so serious for me, because they're temporary (although, the numbness may not be...). I know the recovery won't necessarily be easy, and I'm not looking forward to that, but I also know that it won't always be that way, and I can deal with that. But now, the face, that's going to stay.
Granted, there will be a lot of swelling and I realize that my "true" face will take several months to reveal itself. I think what has me anxious is that I want this surgery purely for functional reasons and didn't consider any cosmetic reasons in my initial decision. Well, now that I've stared at my face so long and studied my bite, jaw position, and profile, yes, there are things that I see that I don't like. But I know deep down that the insecurities I have about how I look and feel about myself probably won't be changed by this surgery because I wasn't bothered about how my jaw looked before.
I've read posts from many people (more so those with underbites) who were very excited for their surgeries because they couldn't wait for their new profile. They've talked about being embarrassed and teased over their profile, chin, teeth, bite. I've seem many pictures where the results are great; and as an outsider looking in, I almost always see an improvement. But when it comes to me, I know I don't see myself the way others do, and ultimately, I need to live with myself and accept myself. Others may see an improvement, but I will see someone who does not look like me anymore.
I'm afraid of looking in a mirror and not recognizing myself. I am afraid of missing the old me. I am afraid of losing the face that reminds me of my mother, who died when I was only five years old. It's my connection to her, and when people see me who knew her, they so often comment how I look just like her. I am afraid that I won't hear those words anymore.
I don't know if it's just vanity or what, but I wish I could have that perfect bite with everything else left just the way it is...
Hi Ellie, your post really hit a nerve for me, because I feel like you in soooo many ways!
ReplyDeleteI have an overbite as well, and Im scared of what my face will look like when its all said and done. Its a face you've grown up with, lived with, fought with, loved, hated and everything in between and now its familiar... and in the span of a few hours welcome to your new face...I agree that those with underbites typically are VERY excited, and I've almost never seen and underbite case look awry... But while many with underbites get teased, those of us with overbites get prodded at as well, I remember people asking me why I had so much gum and so little teeth, if I had some kind of genetic deformity, Im like thanks thats how I am, lol
What I've done is looked at lots of underbite cases online before and afters and notice that while there is some difference it isnt as drastic (yay!). We will just be better versions of ourselves...I have the same fears as you, but I tell myself, Im working to fix what bothers me the most and hopefully it all goes well.
Big hugs :)
Hey Ellie. I totally understand your concerns about how your face changes. I had an underbite and although my face did not change drastically, it does take some getting used to when looking in the mirror. Some people, my family even, did not notice a change at all whereas I look in the mirror and I can tell you all of the little things that are different. So I guess my advice is to not let this fear stop you from going through with the surgery because although it will change the way you look it will also change the functionality of your jaw and pain level. Just remember that it is still you when you look in the mirror, even if the reflection is a little different.
ReplyDeleteHi Ellie,
ReplyDeleteI just want to offer words of encouragement and support. You are right... some people encounter HUGE changes to their appearance after orthognathic surgery, while others' are hardly noticeable. For me, it was the former. In 2009 when I had my first surgery, I literally did NOT recognize myself in the mirror. It was scary, exciting, disappointing, and overwhelming, all at once. And I knew I would probably end up looking "better" (that's SO subjective), but it still wasn't "ME". BleedingOrchid did an awesome job of summing up what I would say....If nothing else, you will be alleviated of the pain, shame, and other things that come along the journey of not being "normal". I would suggest a couple of things. 1) Take LOTS of before pics (for memories), but try not to obsess over them after the surgery when you are making before/after comparisons. I did that to myself, and nearly ended up in an insane asylum (!!!) Also, as hard as it may seem, try not to spend huge amounts of time in the mirror post-surgically. It is SO depressing to see one's face swell to unimaginable proportions; it causes endless frustrations. Enjoy the excitement of better health, a strong will to recover, and a new better life...even if it's done with a slightly different face!
You have been through so much. You are a warrior, and you will claim a victory when this is all said and done.
Be Well.
--Cece
Hi Ellie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing :) I understand the emotions you are going through! I think what keeps me sane is knowing that after my surgery, I will still be me! When you remind people of your mother, it's probably not just the face, but her spirit in you too :)
Nikki
THANK YOU everyone! You've been so supportive and encouraging. It's so important to keep perspective and remember that I am still me and still will be me after surgery.
ReplyDeleteCece, you've been an inspiration to me in all that you've gone through with your surgeries. Thank you.
Jamie, I'm going to have to remember that the reflection may be different, but I'm still me. That's really helpful.
Bleeding Orchid and Nikki, thanks for your encouragement! Good luck with your surgeries! We're all in this together...and it will be worth it. :)
Ellie - I agree with all the other ladies on here. Personally, I don't think my face changed that much overall but when I analyze each individual part of my face I notice small changes everywhere, if that makes any sense?! I guess what that means to me is that I look completely recognizable (and I think most who have this surgery fall into this category), I still look like myself only slightly different although to most people they would probably never be able to guess what changed about my face. I notice it mostly when I smile and profile and in my opinion, these can only be positive changes. In 97% of all jaw surgery cases, the patients are very satisfied. I think a few % are neutral and the remaining 1-2% have complications that make them not happy with the overall outcome. However, I have read that people with Type A, neurotic personalities tend to be less satisfied with the outcome than Type B, more laid back types. I think the odds are pretty good that you're going to love your new face!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tara! Sometimes I'm kind of down about the surgery and its possible changes, and then at other times, I am so excited for it to happen and all its benefits!
ReplyDeleteEllie, I understang. Before my surgery I was so scared of losing "me" after the facial changes. It scared me, and more than once I thought "what if I hate myself? What if I always look back and think 'I used to be prettier?'" It's natural to feel this way and totally understandable. There are a lot of unknowns in this process. In the end, despite my worries, I'm very happy with the new face. It's hard to imagine looking different when all you've ever known is you, and I think that's what makes it scary - you don't even have a clue where to begin to imagine to get a grasp on whether or not you'll be happy. But different isn't necessarily bad. If you found the beauty in yourself once, you can do it again. It's still there after all, only the outside has changed. Heck, some people I run into don't even realize anything is different! (which is weird to me)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nora!! And you're right on about the scary part--I don't even have a clue as to how it will be different, or even if it will be different, and that total lack of control and knowledge is not something I am naturally comfortable with... It's helped me a lot to have so many blogging friends who have made it through with fantastic results! :)
ReplyDeleteI had my surgery last July and I have been struggling with the my "true face" thing. When I see pictures of myself now, or look in the mirror, it's always strange. It's not that I don't recognize myself, but it's never what I expect. When I see pictures of how I used to look, I instantly recognize it as oh that's me, I remember that. But then I can see the incongruity in my face and I'm happy that that's gone, but your face is your identity so it is difficult.
ReplyDeleteI also lost my mother when I was 13 and it's strange that I actually look a lot more like her now. She had a well aligned jaw so now that I do too, my nose looks more like hers and I just look more similar overall. I don't know what I'm trying to say, but basically, I think that after the surgery any changes in appearance will be enhancements. I feel like in a year or two I won't feel as nostalgic about my old face and will be adjusted to what I have now. I'm sure that it will be the same case with you and that it will be a happy surprise overall :) best of luck!
Samantha, thank you so much. I'm glad to know I am not alone in this. I know it will be different, but a good different, and I am trying to focus on that.
ReplyDelete